Poor Monster

I came home last night to blood red paw prints all over the place. I knew one of the three cats must have hurt themselves and it turned out to be Monster. Poor little guy had cut his paw pad on a can in the bin.
He is always trying to get in the bin. I have it in a cupboard with a chair in front of it, but somehow he got in. I felt so responsible, I shouldn't have put the can in there, I should have taken in outside. In my defense, he has never, in his 9 or so years hurt himself like that.
It's quite a nasty cut and he didn't appreciate the antiseptic at all. I was just as distressed as he was. I could see he had run around everywhere from the prints. He must have been scared as well as hurt.
He is getting lots of extra attention from me (and everyone) at the moment. He is lapping it up between limping around on three legs (although he can sure move quick when he knows food is on its way).
I am going to keep an eye on him, he may need to go to the vet. An excursion neither of us would enjoy.
I still feel so sorry for him, sorry I wasn't able to prevent or at least be here when he was hurt. Poor little boy (ok, poor 8kg boy).
I am now on the way to requiring antiseptic myself, damn he struggles when the medicine comes out! He spent today building up the energy while sleeping on my bed - which he is not normally allowed to do. He gets special treatment til his ouch heals up!
Tragically, he tried to get in the bin again tonight. He likes living up to his name...

And you thought your parents were weird...

Ok, I am NEVER going to complain about my parents interfering in my life again.
Well, that's probably not true but I wont feel quite as justified after talking to a friend of mine who's parents took this intrusion to a disturbing new height.

My friend in question is gay. And Albanian. Not an easy combination to get away with. His parents decided to 'cure' him in the most bizarre way I have ever come across.

They called a witch doctor. Yes, a WITCH DOCTOR. This guy got my friend naked and smeared him with chicken blood while chanting some dodgey incantation.

I have several problems with this particular technique.

Firstly, I would have thought getting him naked with another guy who intended to manhandle his privates would have been low on the list of things to try to turn him off men. Although, since the guy replaced your typical baby oil with chicken blood, maybe they were hoping to sufficiently creep him out so he could never be naked around guys again.

Secondly the chicken blood bit. I mean, why did that chicken have to die? Apparently his parents hid it in the garage to kill when Doc came round. I would like to think I would notice a live chicken residing in my house but this particular friend can be a little self absorbed. I would however be fascinated to know how chicken blood ties in with curing homosexual tendencies. We decided if he ever came home to find an elephant in the back yard, it was time to run and run fast.

Thirdly, it cost them $500! Surely this money could have been better spent! I mean, how much can a live chicken and some chanting cost? I wouldn't have thought a big knife and a book of 'Satan begone' babbles would constitute such huge overheads. The Doc musn't have been watching the right late night infomercials. Surely he could have gotten the knife for free with his Tome of tongues. But wait, there's more... Order now to receive your very own dustbuster, guaranteed to remove feathers from a variety of household upholstery.

The doctor proclaimed my friend 'cured' to his parents and said he would be sure to give them grandchildren in the future. My friend said to them 'I think you better ask for a refund coz I am so still gay'.

I thought it was bad when my mum cleaned my room when I was out. Fortunately she never saw the need to have some charlatan massage me with animal blood to mend my messy ways.

Personally I am proud of my friends 'well, I may as well laugh at it, otherwise I would go insane' outlook. Apparently he can't go to KFC without one of his friends waving a piece of poultry and singing 'Ha-la la. Ha -la-la' at him anymore. Really, what else are friends for?

Morning Off

This morning I have been lounging around eating froot loops. Mmmmm sugar. Am enjoying a well earned late start after being short staffed this week and running a meeting last night.
Sometimes it feels intensely weird to run meetings, interview people and stuff. I am very aware of how these things looked to me from the other side so I try and remain fair and treat people the way I wished to be treated. Some people make that difficult though. Fortunately my team are easy to get along with. They are nice and funny and willing to focus and work with a little push here and there.
I interviewed a bit of a shocker yesterday. Who goes for an interview as a Sales Consultant and says they don't like having targets? There is such a thing as detrimental honesty.
Tomorrow I am going to do some more moving house. Either work on my lounge or the less appealing option of sorting out the random oddments and crap left over in the rooms where all the important stuff has been dealt with.
All my kitchen stuff is done so I am legitimately unable to cook. What a damn shame that has been ;o)
I am hoping to get my tax return organised too. I could do with some $$$ as I want to go out and buy some furniture for the new place. I haven't bought shoes for a disturbingly long time either. I should buy some work ones, but they really don't count. I wanna buy some impractical, pretty, high, only to be worn on short nights out kind. The fun kind, in other words.
Hopefully tonight goes quickly at work. Not too many ballbreakers on the loose. I hate the ones who haggle you down by that last $5 to the point where it is barely worth selling the item as there is no profit left in it, then they pull out a huge wad of money right in front of you and count out the pittance they are willing to pay. To them it is as much about 'winning' as it is about getting a good price.
I will have the last laugh. When we say 'it's lovely' we mean hideous. When we say 'it's different' we mean tacky and when we say 'you got bargain' we are trying to suppress hysterical laughter knowing that there was plenty of room for negotiation but since you were arrogant we stuck to the inflated price on principle.
So go home and try and wedge that repulsive ring on those sausages you call fingers. While you are admiring your purchase we are saying to our colleague 'can you believe which piece of shit I just offloaded?'
Show some respect to us poor plebs behind the counter or walk away with a badly coloured, inclusion filled stone that looks like it came out of a gumball machine and the words, 'I'm sure she'll love it, it's such an adventurous design' ringing in your ears....Sucker!

Getting There..

I am making progress on the moving house. I mainly have my lounge and bedroom left to go, aside from the furniture.
Then it's all the little random stuff that doesn't seem important enough to pack, but has to be dealt with eventually. I have to make sure I don't move out and leave the crap sitting here for weeks because I am too lazy to throw it out or whatever.
Most stuff appears to be fitting into my new place ok. I am going to need some new furniture which will be fun to pick anyway.
I am kind of just putting my head down and getting through this at the moment, so I don't give into the stress and sadness I have been feeling. I am trying to deal with one thing at a time.
Aside from moving house and working, life is pretty quiet right now. This week I will be catching up with some friends, which will be a nice distraction. I have missed seeing people and it sucks when it seems like all you do is work, rest after work and prepare for more work!
Hearing from my brother via email is making me want to get of my arse and plan a trip of my own sometime. There is a whole world out there that I largely ignore while I muddle through the day to day crap.
Greece sounds amazing. I am tempted to try and learn the language before I go. I feel like I wouldn't mind developing some hobbies or something to do after work.
One of my cats it treating my chest of drawers like a playground right now. So tempting to shut the drawer and walk away ;) The price could be clothes that smell like cat wee though. Not really worth the satisfaction of hearing the shocked miaow when she realises she can't get out!
Anyway. Time to go and do some boring domestic stuff...

Suffocation

Nothing is making sense right now. My head is full of tangled thoughts and fears. I feel like I am suffocating. I can't breathe from the weight of decisions I need to make, past issues I need to deal with and a future I need to build.
I feel like I am drowning in bills, expectations, work, responsibilities, housework, stress, health issues and trying to keep everyone happy as well as maintaining my 'brave face'.
I don't know what I want, aside from to hide from it all and hope it goes away. There is no clear goals or obvious directions.
I am confused, tired and deeply stressed. I don't know what to do next. I am kind of 'surviving' each day and each hurdle with no long term desired outcome. My only ambition at the moment is to stop things from getting worse.
I can't take leave from work to have enough time to move house all in one go so I have to tack those extra tasks onto each day off which means I don't get any rest or mental break.
My head feels like it is going to split open and my stomach is in knots.
Everything seems too hard. I don't know what it would take for me to be happy anymore. It's hard to picture being happy when you don't even know what circumstances would inspire it.
This rambling mess is a mere fraction of the mess in my head. I can't separate coherent thoughts from it all right now. I feel like I am headed for Meltdown City. It would almost be a welcome relief from the sadness and stress I am feeling now.
There is no one event or fear that is making me feel that way, it's just everything. An unconquerable amount of factors joining forces to destroy the thin veneer of control I had established.
Aside from the anxiety there is a deep feeling of melancholy dragging me down. Like my heart is slowly splintering into a million agonising fragments. If I started to cry, I may never stop.
I don't normally show quite this much of my 'weaker' side on this particular blog but my head is such a mess I can't focus enough on anything else to write about.
Hopefully the haze in my mind clears enough for me to sort some stuff out in the next couple of weeks...I can't even finish this. It's hard to write, each sentence seems to wear me out and the numbness inside takes a slightly stronger hold.

Stop! Thief!

We had a runner at work last weekend. Basically that means someone who tries on an item then runs out of the store with it. There were three of us serving this guy and when he bolted we all went into complete shock. Apparently I yelled out and we all went to chase him (something we are not meant to do), it was just an instinct.
One of my staff chased him through the carpark, but the guy was too far ahead and got away. The other two of us called security and the police. Luckily we had followed all procedures and cannot be blamed for what happened.
The sad part is, the ring was worth over 3 grand but will probably be sold for one hundred bucks, enough for this guys next hit.
Aside from that moment of panic things have been standard. I went to my brothers going away party, I have been hanging with friends and working. My brother leaves today for 6 months. I will miss him and so wish I could go too. Sometimes it feels so unfair to be stuck with this life I didn't choose. Stuck with what was left over after a failed engagement. I am slowly turning it around and know I am doing well. It is hard to not feel like I have wasted so much time though.
I know I will be better once the house is sold and I can start doing the things I want to do rather than the things I have had to.
As usual I am in bed when I should be getting ready for work. Time to get my arse into gear!