Suffocation

Nothing is making sense right now. My head is full of tangled thoughts and fears. I feel like I am suffocating. I can't breathe from the weight of decisions I need to make, past issues I need to deal with and a future I need to build.
I feel like I am drowning in bills, expectations, work, responsibilities, housework, stress, health issues and trying to keep everyone happy as well as maintaining my 'brave face'.
I don't know what I want, aside from to hide from it all and hope it goes away. There is no clear goals or obvious directions.
I am confused, tired and deeply stressed. I don't know what to do next. I am kind of 'surviving' each day and each hurdle with no long term desired outcome. My only ambition at the moment is to stop things from getting worse.
I can't take leave from work to have enough time to move house all in one go so I have to tack those extra tasks onto each day off which means I don't get any rest or mental break.
My head feels like it is going to split open and my stomach is in knots.
Everything seems too hard. I don't know what it would take for me to be happy anymore. It's hard to picture being happy when you don't even know what circumstances would inspire it.
This rambling mess is a mere fraction of the mess in my head. I can't separate coherent thoughts from it all right now. I feel like I am headed for Meltdown City. It would almost be a welcome relief from the sadness and stress I am feeling now.
There is no one event or fear that is making me feel that way, it's just everything. An unconquerable amount of factors joining forces to destroy the thin veneer of control I had established.
Aside from the anxiety there is a deep feeling of melancholy dragging me down. Like my heart is slowly splintering into a million agonising fragments. If I started to cry, I may never stop.
I don't normally show quite this much of my 'weaker' side on this particular blog but my head is such a mess I can't focus enough on anything else to write about.
Hopefully the haze in my mind clears enough for me to sort some stuff out in the next couple of weeks...I can't even finish this. It's hard to write, each sentence seems to wear me out and the numbness inside takes a slightly stronger hold.