Diet Week

You always know when it's my diet week. You can tell because it ALWAYS coincides with a new food/drink manufactured specifically to tempt me being released.
Last time I gave up soft drink Cherry Coke was released. It was a fizzy and lengthy affair. By the time good ole CC was withdrawn I was hooked, I tells ya, hooked on the bubbly stuff again. I couldn't tear myself from the glory days of guzzling that cherry sweetness by the bucketload back to WATER. So I eased onto Fanta - the second sweetest drink I could find. I am now weaning myself onto Diet Vanilla Coke - my current compromise.
I have been trying to be good with food too. Have been going down to Coles to buy healthy/cheap food in an attempt to slim my ass and plump my bank account. I almost made it out unscathed too. Right up until the 12 Items or less express lane with my salad and fruit. Then, just when I thought I was home free, my eyes were drawn to the latest slight against my good dieting intentions. Tim Tams.
So what - you say. Tim Tams are old news. They should be expected. I should scoff in the face of their chocolatey biscuitiness. Well I WAS. Until I looked closer, drawn in by the slight colour alteration on the packet. When realised this signified a new - iristable Black Forest - flavour I fell to my knees, wrenched a clump of hair from my head and bellowed 'WHY DOES THOU TEMPT ME SO' and beat my fists on cool tiles in the express lane. Thankfully that was just in my head. In reality I turned and ran up to the register, paid for my rabbit food with shakey hands and made my exit gasping for each ragged breath.
Well done you say, I won the battle. Oh yes, victory was mine. That was until last night when I went to Safeway with a friend. I HAD to go to the biscuit aisle to get wafers for my mum and there we were. In drooling distance of my latest advesary.
Twice in one week was too much resistance for diet week to handle. I crumbled like the chocolate coating and my insides melted to gooey ooze like the raspberry filling. They are now in my kitchen, Mocking me. Just one, they say. One little biscuit. It wont hurt. Just a taste. No one will know.
The gods of diet week will know. Penance for this minor Tim Tam digression will be a plague of pimples - my mark of shame. My kingdom for a good concealer....