The Outsider

Lonely. I get along fine with the people at work, I guess. I still feel like a scotty though. They are a pretty tight bunch and it gets uncomfortable when they are all talking about stuff I don't know about or stuff they are doing together.
I hate being the newbie. I am not the confidant type [at least not on the inside] who will elbow my way in and angle for invitations. I am not even sure I would want to see some of them socially anyway.
I guess it's more that Limbo status that unsettled me. Coming from a job where I knew people and had close friends, it is hard to start all over again. Especially as a boss.
And then the people from my previous work move on too. So it's kinda lose/lose. I am sure I will settle in and get to know people soon but being me, I assume they don't like me much.
There are plenty of people there who are great to chat too, have good senses of humour and seem like genuinely nice people who would be fun outside of work too. I hate feeling like, just by hoping they like me that I am asking too much or forcing myself on them.
I always feel.. Separated.. from people and too shy/low self esteemed to try and fit in. I worry they think I am snobby or if I am too nice that I am fake.
I know people will say 'just be yourself' but it hasn't done me huge favours so far so I am reluctant. I want people to LIKE me, not run in the opposite direction.
So for now I float around, relishing the friendly faces and fun chats then receding back to an unobtrusive corner, trying not to do anything to fuck things up....