Kill me now

If ONE MORE PERSON says they thought I was thirty I will just give up, buy fifty cats, stop dyeing my hair and just embrace frumpiness. I mean what's the point? If I look thirty now, how old am I going to look when I AM thirty, like forty five?
Then people say, it's not just your looks, you just come across as older. I would like to think this has something to do with grace, intelligence and maturity. Realistically it's probably more to do with the fact that I don't watch shows like 'The X Factor', never been a clubber and never know what's on at the movies or hot on the music scene.
I think the fact that I have lived out of home for over eight years contributes to my altered outlook a little. Most people my age still live at home, have been to uni or have traveled over the past few years.
I left home, lived with a guy for eight years, have a mortgage and have had to work to support myself and forgo some of the fun things.
I didn't plan this to happen. It would be less sad if I was still with the guy. Now I kind of feel I missed out on being irresponsible and commitment free for nothing.
I want to travel or study or work part time and do other stuff too but I can't do that and have my own place. I am too accustomed to my independence to share the house or move in with family.
Sometimes I feel trapped though. Hemmed in by bills, maintenance of the house and taking care of everything on my own as well as working ridiculous retail hours.
Will I ever have the chance to re-evaluate my career and study for something I want to do? When will I be able to travel? I could never afford to put the money aside of take extended time off work.
I am sure it will all work out. Mostly I love having my own space and controlling my own future. But I am NOT thirty... God I have another four years yet. Maybe it's time for a mini midlife crisis.
I can't afford the sportscar but there is always... Shoes. Retail Therapy, here I come.