Mess

Word of the week: Mess

'A confused mixture, disagreeable to the site; A state of disorder'


Well isn't that just me to a 'T'? I am a confused mixture of hope and pessimism. Of strength and fear. Of mirth and melancholy.

I am disagreeable to the sight - sheesh, where do I start with that one?

A state of disorder. Hmm inside my head. I don't know what to worry about first. Family dramas, lack luster employment, very few qualifications, failed relationship, mortgage on a house I'm not sure I want. No clear goals, direction or plans.

My only aim is the pursuit of happiness - a tad broad hey? Also hampered by the fact that I am not sure what would make me happy in a real sense.

Enjoying work - but I don't know what I want to do. Mum being happy - again, I don't know how to make that happen. Financial comfort - that's not enough for me on it's own, I guess it takes pressure of though, when you have it.

I have vague ideas but no specifics starting points to make it happen. I am kind of in limbo. Not hideously unhappy. Just uninspired. Stuck. A Mess - my room is always a mess, maybe its merely an extension of the inside of my head? Nothing unfixable just in disarray. Things I can't find a place for or can't be bothered to deal with.

I like to think I am endearingly messy. Not a slob, just not a neat Nazi either. Hey, If I can see all my stuff it's easier to find. How do you fight that kind of logic?